If you were a barbarian's daughter

These two poems are written by Xu HuSheng; translated by me, edited by Robert Berold

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Just You


Not books, not life, not mankind --

it was just you, river -- the wild grass on your bank

your village, your trees with their robust branches,

your town, your bridges, the boats beneath your bridges –

it was you that brought me enlightenment.



Your pool choked with shrivelled twigs,
your shrinking pool, your bumpy gravel road

your seven-storey yellow cement pagoda

your shipyard buried under a field of vegetables –

all of these, and your irresistible blue-cold sky.

It's not because my childhood and youth lie here

or because memories being here revives memories

or because I'm tired of the ungrateful insensitive city

these reasons are too shallow and intangible –

It's because of you, you who opened my eyes.



I see your true face as if for the very first time

as I press against the railings of the bridge –

I can't get enough of you, wide river –

I walk from the dilapidated street to your deserted riverbank –

There’s nowhere in the world like you glistening and shining.



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If you were a barbarian's daughter



If you were a barbarian's daughter

you would already be playing with little animals

you would already recognize a dozen wild flowers

before you learned how to count in numbers



Gradually you'd have absorbed much knowledge

you'd spontaneously accept laws and rules that are unquestionable

you'd understand how the colours of the clouds change with the wind and rain

you'd know how to tell which boy was the most trustworthy and bravest



You wouldn't need to learn how to correct mankind's tendency to evil

because you never had any evil in you. I see in you
how good human nature is, beyond my imagination –

human beings used to be as good as you.



You'd grow up like a beautiful wild cat

then marry a handsome young man.

Your eyes would be pure, your bodies healthy

Your happiness would evaporate anxiety, balance desire.



My prayer is for a big mist to descend on where you live, to cover every inch

and shield you from the civilized people who bring books, clothes and new thoughts.

Or perhaps they have already bewitched everybody, perhaps even you –

see, there they go, with their contemptible satisfaction.



Only ruthless people and poets can live happily among them

ruthless people because they don't know how to pity,
poets because they don't feel remorse. Poets regard pain
as enlightenment, they turn regret into poetry.



If it wasn’t for the eternity in every passing second

the meaninglessness of existence would overwhelm even the most creative soul –

if it were not for the angels of love, who still play in the world,

if it were not for the world as it is reflected in your bright eyes…
 
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启示



不是书本，不是生活，不是人类，

是你，是你的河，是你的岸，岸上的荒草，

是你的村庄，是你的树，树的虬枝，

是你的小镇，是你的桥，桥下的船……

突然之间带来启示。



你淤满枯枝、日益萎缩的池塘，

你坑坑洼洼的石子公路，

你水泥砌成的七层黄色宝塔，

你不复存在、已经被菜田覆盖的修船厂，

像你青冷的天空一样令人着迷。



不是因为这里有我的童年和少年，

不是因为我脑海里被唤醒了什么记忆，

不是因为我厌倦了薄情寡义的城市，

这些解释都太过肤浅、太过不着边际，

是你，是你将我的双眼开启。



仿佛第一次看到了你本来的样子，

我长久地扶着桥头的栏杆，

仿佛永远也看不厌这开阔的河面。

我从破败的街市一直走到无人的河堤，

世上再没有第二个地方像你如此光彩熠熠。



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“如果你是一个野蛮人的女儿……”


如果你是一个野蛮人的女儿，

你应该还在和小动物们一起玩耍，

在学会数数之前，

你已经认得几十种野花。



你会渐渐掌握很多知识，

你会自然而然地接受一些不可怀疑的戒律，

你会懂得辨别云的色彩和风雨的关系，

你会知道哪个少年最值得信赖、最有勇气。



你不需要学习如何改正人性的恶意，

你从未接触过它们。在你身上，我看见

人性何其善良，真是难以想象，

我们也曾经这样。



你会像一只漂亮的小野猫那样成长，

然后嫁给一个诚实英俊的青年，

你们的目光纯净，你们的身体健康，

快乐多过焦虑，满足多过妄想。



最好大雾笼罩四周，处处大雾升腾，

挡住那些文明人，他们带来书本、衣服和新的思想，

他们弄得所有人，甚至连你在内，都对他们着了迷，

然后，带着可耻的满足，一走了之。



在他们那里，只有恶棍和诗人可以无忧无虑地生存，

恶棍不知道怜悯，诗人不懂得悔恨——

他们把痛苦看作启示，

他们把悔恨也变成诗句。



如果不是每一个瞬间尚且包含着永恒，

最有创造力的灵魂也无法忍受这无意义的生存。

要不是你们这些小爱神还在这个世界上嬉戏，

要不是这个世界还映在你亮晶晶的眼里……