what does Howard talk about when he talks about S.A.

"South Africa is a screwed-up country." Howard said.

I came to Howard's office for some advice before I take off. Howard is from S.A. and used to be the editor of  Mail& Guardian.

"We're a screwed-up country." He repeated, and continued, "I'm not trying to scare you or stereotype you. That's basically how South Africa is-- volatile and violent. If someone gets you and grabs your things or whatever, just give it to him. Don't try to fight against him. He will shoot you. He will not hit you. He will shoot you. And remember to use condoms when you have sex-- doesn't matter who she is, doesn't matter who he is..."

"And doesn't matter what it is, because I'm going to film the cows."

"Yes, doesn't matter what it is, use a condom. 1 in 5 adults in South Africa is HIV positive. And don't go out alone at night. Always get someone who is familiar with the area you're going. Sorry if you are getting a negative impression of South Africa...."

"No, no. It's helpful. Now my alert light has turned red."

"Well. Amber, keep it in amber. OK, that's the bad side about South Africa. There are also good things. You will meet nice people, and it's beautiful in South Africa, beautiful-- the ports and beaches. Oh, addo national park. I'm sure you will have a good time. Sorry I can only give you very general suggestions."

Howard gave me his hand, so I took it over and held it.

"Take care and come back safe."

二事

晚饭吃了二两米饭，两个鸡腿，两个蕃茄和两个鸡蛋做的羹，摸摸撑足的肚子，突然觉得自己很二。

在这里买衣服发现有个2b的牌子，心想，他们是别想去中国卖了。我看正好打折，于是就买了一件，反正标签藏在里面。

I'm from a liberal country

Sokol is from Albania. He hosts a political show in an Albanian television station. He's over 30. In one class, Verica told us how famous Sokol is in Albania. "I was talking with Sokol in the Cafeteria. Then a girl came to us, and she cried out, 'Aren't you the host of the ** show? I can't believe I meet you here!' The girl then told me that everybody in Albania knows him."

Sokol has been talking about going back to work for the BBC. I asked him after a whole day's class, "Are you going to quite your job in Albania if you find a job here, say in the BBC?"

"I don't know. Why do you ask?" Sokol is sitting in front of the computer with his back towards me typing something.

"Oh..." I pauzed and tried to look for a reason. Most of the times when I ask people questions, I simply have no reasons at all. But some people would ask me "why do you ask". I don't have an agenda hidden beneath my question although I come from a country that has a lot of agendas. Why did I ask Sokol that question? Curiosity? Yes, it must have been curiosity. "because I'm curious..." I answered. Then I realized it was not convincing enough to attribute my question to curiosity, so I added, "also I'm wondering if it's possible for you to work for both television sta..."

"No, no, it's impossible. It won't work that way." Sokol half turned to me. I could see him half-smiling. "It's like in a marriage, you must be dedicated to your wife."

Two jobs, marriage, dedication, wife, these words instantly triggered my brain neural system, "but in some muslim countries, a husband can have more than one wife." I said it without any idea of how it could lead the conversation to another direction. But that's when I felt something was wrong, because... well, because I sensed something was wrong.

"Don't get me started on that!" Sokol rasied his voice and his hands stopped hopping on the keyboards, "Don't even get me started on that! I'm from a liberal country. Your communism country... how many children are you allowed to have in your communism country?"

"OK, one..."

"Do you have brothers or sisters?"

"No, I'm the only child."

"Ask your parents why."

"Well, maybe because of the policy, or because of... I really don't know. I never asked them...."

"Then ask them. Don't try to have a debate with me!"

"I'm not trying to have a debate with you..."

"Yes, you are!"

Alright. I thought to myself. You are from a liberal country, but the way you ordered me not to try to debate you is quite authoratative, isn't it? But how could the conversation go off the original track? I wondered. Muslim-- it got to do with religion.

I asked Mia when I got back to my dorm. "Muslim is the dominant religion in Albania." Mia said assertively. Her bachelor degree is in European politics.
OK. It could be that I was behaving insensitively or Sokol was being over-sensitive. But I don't know whether Sokol is a muslim or not. Or could it be that what I said brought some uncomfortable memory to Sokol because of the religion-purging history in the Balkan?

The other person who said the same thing to me is a girl from India. She is a fashionable girl, dark-skined, beatiful in some way, and she likes to hang out with the white Europeans.  One time during our conversation, she kept saying "I'm from a democratic country, you know." OK, I know, but what has that got to do with the food we are talking about?

*  A couple of weeks ago, Sokol showed something to me. He smiled, waving a little red book under my nose. It was Quotations from Chairman Mao.
"Are you interested in him?" I asked him. I was impressed.
"Yeah." he said as if it was a self-evident fact.
"Where did you get it?"
"In Beijing. I was in Beijing 2 years ago. I saw it and bought it."
So he always takes the book with him then. "I'm not a big fan, but good for you!"

另一种语言

从前有个地方，那里的人不用语言交流，用乐符交流，或者说乐符就是他们的语言。

他们的语言单位若用文字记录下来，就是音乐的记谱，直观的比方就是钢琴上88个黑白琴键。do, 升do/降re, re,  升re/降mi, mi，fa，升fa/降so，so，升so/降la，la，升la/降si，si，就是他们基本的语素。但是他们对音高有着敏锐的感知，而且他们独特的发声器官能让他们说话时连升5个八度，连降5个八度，因此他们的语言单位，或者说是音符，远远超出了钢琴所能弹出的88个音。每个人的发声器官都不一样，有的人说话声像小提琴那么尖细，有的人说话声像大提琴那么厚实，有的人说话声像钢琴一样清脆，有的人说话声像吉他一样有颗粒感，有的人说话声仿佛温润的圆号，还有的人，你找不到一件合适的乐器去形容。

表达愉快的情绪时，一般人会以飞快的节奏和高音长发出la-la-la的声音，或者是do-la-do-la几个连续的音，有些诗人则会唱出一段巴赫bwv846前奏那样的旋律，如果你硬是要翻译成“文字”的话，大意是“我看见了一个姑娘/她的双眸如同夜晚的星星/我的心，就像星空下的麦田，沙沙作响”，充满能量的年轻人发出的声音可能就是一首摇滚曲子。表达事物的时候，人们也有各自不同的方法。比如讲述一条河流，你听到的可能是简单如“hua-hua-hua”这样的白描，也有可能听到像《沃尔塔瓦河》那样的旋律，或者是像《蓝色多瑙河》那样的旋律，或者是别的什么在我们的音乐作品里对应不上的旋律，只有他们能够互相听懂。

可惜他们没有科学，因为他们的语言只能表达情感，描述一般的自然之物，我们所具有的抽象概念，他们的“音乐语言”难以表达。更可惜的是，他们没有自己的文字。同时他们一些特有的表达方式和发声已经超出了我的经验和文字的表述能力。但有一点毋庸置疑，他们的语言就是一种音乐。

frog-eyes

Mia cooked a wok of indian chicken, a pot of rice, and several naans. By the way, I really can't tell the difference between a naan and a pita (bread you eat in kababs).

"Damien, come and eat." She ordered. She had a plate of rice, chicken and a naan in front of her at the table, double portion of what she usually eats.
I'd already had supper, but I couldn't resist the food and I didn't want to resist.

Ioanna was sitting opposit me. She and Mark were arguing about something about eyes.
"Damien, do you have a word for a person's eyes if she doesn't have enough sleep?" She asked me.
"Yes we do in Chinese."
"See? Every lauange does except English. In Romanian, it's 'sickly-vovled'."
"Oh, I think I'm evovled already." Mark said.
"I couldn't sleep last night, and it hurts in my eye sockets." Ioanna said.
"Oh, is it because my balls were too heavy?" Mark giggled.
Mia covered her mouth with a hand, head tilting to one side. She was laughing.
"Mia knows-- frogeyes!" Mark said.
Mia's belly heaved up and down.
I and Ioanna were lost.
"Oh, there is a story in which a guy sits on a girl's face with his balls against her eyes. You know that a frog has big eyes-- bulging eyes? There you go, frogeyes!"
Ioanna laughed.
I was thinking, a person's eyes are wide apart, and a guy's testicles are stuck together. How can his balls fit into the eye sockets?

Mark's ipod was playing songs.
"That's so gay!" Mia said.
"No. He's not. He sounds feminine though." Mark said while chopping chocolate for his desert.
The song changed to Freddie Mercury.
"Now that's a gay." Mia said.
I didn't know the song's name. Ioanna hum with the song. Mark swang his body to the music, and clinched his fist with the knife.
"That gay gives you strength and power, Mark." I said.
"Oh, the Queen gives me more than that. Once after listening to their songs, I couldn't walk straight for one week."

does the carpet match the shade?

I saw something white in Mark's food processor. It looked just like "豆浆". "What's in it?" I asked.

"Eggnog." Mia answered.
"Egg-what?"
"Egg-nog, with rum in it." Mark said.
I tasted some. It felt like milk shake, and tasted good. I upped my thumb to Mark. Mark could make a lot of food. If Juliette Binoche can make Johnny Depp fall in love with her chocolate, certainly Mark can pinch down some girl with his ooey-gooey, desert of his grand-grandmother's recipe. Who will be the girl?

"Ioanna, I launched a vote for my hair colour in my Facebook, did you see it?" Mark said.
"No. Why?"
"Because you people keep saying I'm a blonde, which I'm not."
"But you are!"
"If you are not a blonde, how come I'm a blonde? My hair is darker than yours."
"No, you're a blonde. I'm brunette. Damien, don't you think Mark is a blonde?" Ioanna said to me.
"Come on!"
"See?" Mark said, and neared his head to Ioanna. Ioanna titled her head in cooperation. Their heads were aligned like two portraits.
"Ioanna, if you're a brunette, then Mark is a brunette."
"Is my hair darker than hers?"
"Yes, a little bit, just a little bit. Ioanna, I think your hair is 30% blonde, and 70% brunette."
"See? And my hair is 20% blonde, and 80% brunette."
"I can't believe you waste so much time on such an argument." I said, chewing rice in my mouth.
"It's serious. It affects my self-perception." Mark raised his voice.
"What does this have to do with self-perception?" Ioanna asked.
"Because it does. There is a white guy who wakes up one morning and hears people call him black. Then he starts perceiving himself as a black."

I was still chewing rice in my mouth, but was reminded of the Greek aphorism: know thyself.
"I'm wondering if a person's pubic hair has the same colour with his or her hair." I said.
Mark and Ioanna laughed. Mia's mouth was agape.
"You know what we say in Amrican? If we see a girl with dyed hair, we say 'Does the carpet match the shade'."
"Carpet? Shade? ...I don't get it."
"OK. Carpet-- pubic hair; shade-- hair."
"I know that. But why do they have to be about colour? Can't..." before I was to finish, Ioanna's hysterical guffaw made all the others laugh.
"Ioanna, I may sound dumb, but... I mean literally, if I say a carpet matches a shade, can't they be about pattern?"
I made Ioanna laugh more.
"Damien, nobody would take that literally." Mia said. Her face was 20% amused 80% serious.
"Mark, what would a girl react if I ask her does you carpet match your hair?"
"She would slap you." Mia took over.
Mark giggled. "Oh, it just reminds me of something else. You know those people, pedophiles, when they think a girl is availabe, they would say 'if there is grass in green, play ball'. My uncle used to say, 'If she can pee, she's old enough for me.'"
I and Mark laughed. Ioanna joined us with her laugh. Mia's face was red already. Her face was 30% amused 70% serious.
"For you, what is the legitimate age for a girl to have sex?" I continued to ask.
"Legally?"
"No, just for you."
"OK. For me, the cut-off age is 17. But there can be a reduce if she is well-developed." Mark burst into a laughter of self-amusement.
"Drink it, cock-sucker." Mark raised his glass of eggnog to Ioanna.
"Mark. Is pussy-licker the opposite term to cock-sucker?" I asked. It seemed there was no way to stop my thoughts from developing, Ioanna from laughing, and Mia from pitying us.
"Oh, my god." were the words that shot out from Mia's juicy, tightened lips.
"Sorry, Mia, if I embarrassed you. I didn't mean to."
"No. I would say clit-mulcher." Mark answered with a giggle.
"Mark, please don't teach Damien those dirty words." Mia said, finally.

Mia is from Finland, a place where the college students, boys and girls, will have a sauna together upon their graduation day.

人物 (People)

五年级时，父亲说我已经成年，应该去看祖国的大好河山，就让我一个人出门旅行，但又不给我钱，因为他认为我有能力弄到钱。出门后，我只有逃票，问人要点东西吃喝，游荡了一个暑假。黄燎原

* When I was in grade five at primary school, my father said, You're an adult now. You should go and see our country's great landscape. He let me go and travel alone, but didn't give me any money, because he thought I was able to earn money. During travelling, I could only evade tickets fare and ask others for food and drink. I wandered about for a whole summer vacation. -- Huang Liaoyuan

直到父亲变成老人我才有机会了解他。他是个诗人，他的经历让我感觉所有名利都是非常无耻的东西。我出生后不久，父亲就被错划成右派，我们全家随他去了新疆。在新疆的18 年，很长时间我们住在地窝子里。那时候一年吃一次肉，过年时在玉米发糕里放点糖精，这都让我高兴不已。2000 年我回过一次新疆，当时住的房子只留下一个坑，有点像沙漠中故城的感觉。童年伙伴也变得衰老木讷，看着心里充满苍凉。艾未未

* I didn't have a chance to understand my father until he became an old man. He's a poet, and his stories make me feel that fame and fortune are the most disgraceful things. Soon after I was born, my father was wrongly classified as the right-winger. The whole family moved with him to Xinjiang. In the 18 years in Xinjiang, we lived in the underground earth house for much of the time. Back then, we ate meat only once a year.  In Spring Festival, simply adding some saccharin to the steamed corn-bread would make me happier than ever. In 2000, I went back to Xinjiang. What was left in our old house was a crater. It felt like a desolate town in a desert. My childhood friends had become old and slow. I was full of sadness when looking at them. -- Ai Weiwei

现在心境已经很开阔了，学会了检讨自己，没有特别不喜欢的人或者事 。黄永松（《汉声》）
My heart can take in more things than before. I have learned how to reflect upon myself. There are no people or things in particular I dislike. -- Huang Yongsong.

22 岁那年，我有过一次灵魂出窍的体验。当时我刚从中山大学毕业，进入中央电视台后被派往西藏拍摄纪录片。在路上我发烧了，条件很恶劣，昏迷中看见输液的管子里还有沉淀的渣滓。在抢救的一瞬间，我感到自己离开了身体，清楚的看见医生和护士围着我说话、呼吸。这个经历影响我一生，之后我的所有的创作都和生死有关。李缨（《靖国神社》）

我中学毕业以后，就有这么一个想法，也有这么一种自信，我要用自己的双手去创造前途，当然首先要从自己的生活开始，那时我完全不靠家里养活。我在太原上学的时候做各种低级的美术工作，假期还跟着剧团去走穴……我从生活方式上努力靠近一个独立知识分子应有的方式，能够独立生活才能独立观察和思想……我当时的电影理想也是这样，既然我能靠自己的双手吃饭，也就能靠自己的双手拍电影…… 贾樟柯

* After I graduated from junior high school, an idea came down upon me, together with some sort of confidence, that I would build my future with my own hands. Of course the first thing I needed to start from then was my own life. I didn't fully rely on my family. I did all the low jobs of fine arts when I went to school in Taiyuan. I even went with the theatre to perform in other places.... I was trying to make my life similar to an independent intellectual's life, living independently and observing and thinking independently.... My film dream was the same, because if I can earn my livelihood with my own hands, then I can make films with my own hands, too.... -- Jia Zhangke

农民组织“阜阳南塘兴农合作社”负责人。1998 年开始在乡间搞“新农村”建设实验，试图在农村建立新的公共生活空间。杨云标

母亲是灯泡厂的工人，每天给灯泡刷漆。做的是比较简单的工作，但她一辈子不愿意请假，说请假影响涨工资，我姐姐结婚的时候她都没请假。但是时代背景之下，她转型很快，退休之后做小生意，卖衣服，还挣了点钱。周云蓬

* My mother was a worker in a light-bulb factory. Her job was painting the bulbs everyday. The work was simple, but she never asked for leave in her whole life, because she says that will reduce her wage. She didn't even ask for leave on the day my elder sister was married. But she changed quickly with times. She started doing small business after she retired. She sold clothes and made some money. -- Zhou Yunpeng

我最怕我的冬不拉琴弦断掉。对于琴弦我充满敬畏。 马木尔

* What I fear most is that my dombura's strings broke. I'm full of awe for the strings of this instrument. -- Mamer